so...

so get this...

i got this message today in my facebook inbox from a girl i don't even know saying that she has my diploma at her apartment 

(which happens to be the apartment i also lived in at college.)

i swear i changed my address with USU, but they still sent it there.

good thing there are good/smart people that wouldn't throw something like in the garbage just because it isn't theirs.

and good thing there is that little thing called facebook.  she probably would've never found me.

oh, and get this... her parents live in the same neighborhood as us!

she's coming home this weekend for general conference and said she would bring it to me.

what a doll.

and what a funny story.

good thing i'm finally getting that piece of paper that says i took a whole bunch of classes while working my butt off!

the final day.

i just want you to know that today is:

my final day of school ever ever ever

EVER!

i'm finally done with this internship.

the internship that almost killed me.

seriously.

almost did, i swear.

you could say i'm pretty darn happy this day.

pretty darn.

lincoln, can we go out tonight to celebrate??

oh, sweetness.

can you hear that?

do you hear that noise?

what is it?

oh, it is the sweet sound of

freedom!

i can't even express to you how relieved i feel right now.

my two huge projects are in and i am a happy camper.

i haven't even taken my final tests yet, but i feel an extreme release of stress.

there is a substantial difference in my mood right now than two days ago.

i feel like skipping down a street and swinging around a pole and clicking my heels.

that's how happy i am.

this week was not my favorite.

for one, my internet hasn't been working for about two weeks in my apartment (until last night). 

talk about frustrating.

i've been stressing about finding a job.

but today is friday.

and friday is fiance day.

 before we were engaged.

yay!

in other news, i did a press check this morning for our invitations and they look AMAZING!

i'll tell you who did them and show you a picture some day.

and also, one of my big projects was an estate plan,

so i had to write a will and all that good stuff.

part of the assignment was to write my own obituary.

i totally cried.

it was the saddest thing ever.

we had to write it if we were to die right now.

i got to the part about talking about lincoln and i had huge alligator tears running down my cheeks.

gah!

anyways, 

happy happy day!

i survived the homework.

now, i just have to pass the tests.

have a wonderful weekend!

homework.

i have 43 tabs open on my browser right now.

true story.

this is what happens when you are wedding planning

and writing a research paper.

multi-tasking at it's best.

i thought about opening a new window.

but that would just take too long.

back to studying.

i feel...

what a week already!

and it's only wednesday.

help me.


i still have two huge projects to finish by friday.
that's been somewhat of a struggle because the internet in my apartment has decided to quit for the last two weeks of class.  it's awesome.

oh!  and did i mention that's it's snowing?
it's april 28, and it's snowing.
i especially fell in love with the snow this morning when i was walking to the shuttle and a big pile of it fell off a telephone wire directly on my head.  that also was awesome.

i've also been searching/worrying about a job once i move from this snowy place to a place down south.  the positions have been few and far between.  if any of you know how to land an interview, let me know.



2 more days of class... 2 more.

will i survive?

if you don't hear from me by saturday, i may have died.




cross your fingers for me.

18 more days

i feel like i complain a lot on this blog.
and i'm sorry if you think so too.

but maybe complaining isn't anything other than observing.

right now i'm observing that i am burned out.  tired.  done.

i can hear my dad asking, "is your candle burning at both ends?"

yes, dad.  it is.  the candle is burning at both ends, and it is almost extinguished.
i think my dad would ask me this question every year of my life.
this is nothing new, people.  my candle is always burning at both ends.


i'm so tired.  like, really tired.  tired.  you got that?  tired.
school is killing me.  and i kind of want to give up.
but i just don't have it really in me to actually give up with 2 weeks left, but i really really want to.

i'm done with the 8 hour assignments that make me hate two column formatting with a passion.
(two column formatting will turn you into a crazy person.)
i'm done with the group projects.
i'm done with the 7 page papers.
i'm done with the quizzes.
i'm done with the exams.

sadly, i'm not literally done with all these things.

so. much. time. and. energy.
i have no more.

i'm having a hard time really enjoying where i am right now.
and i know i should.

but maybe i don't really want to.
and that is making everything else harder.

again, i'm far from perfect.
sometimes i make things harder than they should.


there is just so much to do.

and there is just nothing i can cut out.

blogging? no.  this is my refuge.


how do i not anticipate the end of this?... because i'm going crazy.
crazy with anticipation.  to never have to take a final again.  or do homework.
and to live within 5 miles of lincoln.
the days seem to get longer as the end approaches.
because of the crazy anticipation, i'm thinking.

on monday, a friend in my major asked me to take some graduation pictures for her on campus.
it's been hard for me to really focus on actually graduating because of everything else going on.  as we walked around on that beautiful warm night, i thought about how much the experiences here (at USU) have changed me and how much i love this school.  it seems like i was here such a short time, but forever at the same time.  a part of me will really miss it. 

but most of me is ready to move on.  is that okay?


probably the most delicious thing right now would be a big fat vacation.  i desperately need one.

who has senioritis?  raise your hand!

playing a game of "where's waldo"--graduation style.

well, folks.
i just turned in my completed graduation packet and paid my $10 to graduate.
who knew you only had to pay $10 to get a diploma?
hah.  just kidding.

man, that packet was a beast.
let me tell you.
i think they purposely make you run around campus playing a game of "where's waldo"  (or in this case, "where's the dean, advisor, registration office,") just to weed out the students who aren't willing to dash from opposite ends of campus trying to find the appropriate signatures.

don't you think it would be much easier to use some of kind of campus mail delivery system?
a part of me thinks they just want to see if you can figure out the amazing race that is the graduation packet.
it'll help me in real life, right? 
yeah, that's it... they were just preparing me. 

now, i have to figure out how to order a cap and gown... which they've also made completely confusing.
if i can't figure that out, i might have to wear my very maroon high school graduation cap and gown and stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of aggie blue graduates. 




do you think they would allow that?  




p.s. why in the world do they make you purchase a cap and gown?  don't you think that should be strictly a renting business.  i don't know about the rest of you, but i don't really plan on wearing a blue cap and gown to any other occasion in my life time. 

raspberries, the fruit kind.

oh, this day was horrendous.
just the school part.

i would tell you all about it, but i'm sure you don't really care.
and i don't really want to relive it.

all that matters is i lived through it.


right now, i would just like to bask in the beauty of getting through this week.
and eat these most delicious raspberries.

raspberries are expensive.  and i probably shouldn't be purchasing such luxury items on my budget.
but the other day i was at the grocery store and saw them sitting there ever so love-ly on the shelf and said,

"self, you need raspberries."

good thing i listened because today was one of those really stressful school days that i needed those raspberries. 

and they are mighty delicious raspberries.






in other news... thanks for all your good weather vibes.

we had ourselves a little engagement session yesterday.  it was all really fun and intimidating at the same time.  i think i checked my makeup and hair in the mirror about 358 times.

the wind subdued, which helped a lot.  and it didn't rain or snow!  go utah!  we were only a little bit chilly a few times, but overall it just went great.

you can imagine how much i'm anticipating seeing them.  i'm kind of crazy person when it comes to that. 


so now this horrendous school day is over, i have some time to spare.

i could probably study and, ya know, get ready for the school week.  but i'm just not that kind of motivated person.

i think laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling in complete silence sounds like the most appealing option.



have a great weekend!

hey, grandma!

does it mean that i've turned into a cranky old woman

when i wish more than anything at 11:15 this evening:

the boy outside my window would carry on his cell phone conversation some where else...

the noisy movie in the living room would end...

the neighbors downstairs would conduct their door-slamming water balloon fight during normal awake hours...

????

i'm so done with this college scene.

come on, children!

i need my sleep!

i'm an old woman, for pete's sake.

image via google.

..........................................................................................

ah, sweet silence.

they must have heard me.

late night thoughts.

i have something to say...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

i hate school.

there, i said it.

i could think of about 5 million other things that i would rather be doing with my life right now.  and i could think of just about as many things i would have rather done on my friday night, but instead i stared at a computer screen for 4+ hours purging my brain of recent trends in income, consumption, wealth, employment, and .... something else that i can't remember.

you see what it did to me?

it broke my eyeballs and fired my brain.

am i even making sense?

you see, i really do believe in education.  it's something i value tremendously, and i'm very grateful for it.  but about a semester ago, i realized that i was in the wrong major.  well, it's the right major because i do learn a lot and a lot of it is really applicable to life in general, 

but it's not fun anymore. 

it's only hard,

and boring, 

and dull, 

and time consuming, 

and i feel like i'm not learning anything anymore.  

can you see how that would be frustrating?

besides, i think all my teachers have this evil plot against me to destroy every ounce of capacity in my body by scheduling things due all in the same week.

for instance, this week i had 3 horrendous exams, 2 ginormous papers, and 1 really hard quiz.  next week i have like 3 little assignments and a really easy quiz.

seriously, who does that?

are they trying to steal my sanity?  

well, it's working.

the night ended with me in sobbing tears with strained back muscles, broken eyeballs, and an exploded brain.  

not a great state of being, if i do say so myself.

or maybe their evil plot is to try and fail all the students their last semester so they have to retake classes and pay the university even more money!

i don't know.  what do you think?

thanks for letting me admit that here on cyberspace.

i hope you all have a lovely weekend. 

school is hard.

in two days of class i have:

2 papers due

1 quiz

3 tests

blehhhh!  i'm so exhausted.

i can't wait until the day i will never have to do homework again.

i find this quite hilarious.

this here is the list of homework i have to do by Monday.

it doesn't really even stress me out.

am i past feeling?



the hilarious part is that i have to take 7 quizzes by Monday.
SEVEN!

i should get a medal or something.

Can I get some help, please?

Apparently if you are crazy enough (like me) to take more than 18 credit hours, you need an approval from the University.
Who at the University?
I still haven't figured that out. Everyone I talk to keeps passing me off to someone else and claiming responsibility on another person who claims it's not their responsibility. Talk about frustrating!!! I'm not getting too far.

In spite all of this, I'm feeling pretty good about my jam packed semester. I tend to get a lot of motivation at the first of a semester and feel like I can handle everything. Then I usually get bogged down by the 3rd week and barely push through all my classes kicking with all my might to come up for air.
Do you feel this way?
What do you do to stay motivated?
I'll appreciate the suggestions.

And finally,
does anyone out there in the world wide web know where we can either A. buy grey suits for the men in the wedding party that are tailored nicely and a medium grey color for a good price or B. rent grey tuxes. We had another wedding woe with grey suits and JC Penny that I don't really want to talk about, but let's just say we aren't happy.
It seems like every suit place in Utah doesn't carry grey suits or tuxes for a good price. They look at you like grey suits have never even existed. What's up with that? If any of you used grey suits/tuxes at your wedding or know of someone that did will you let me know how you obtained them?

Thanks.



happy tuesday!

one more day of freedom.

sorry y'all.

i've been busy hanging out with this guy.


we only have one more day before we have to go back to school.


that really, really bites.






this is how we feel about it.




haha, just kidding.

this is the face we made after i told lincoln to act like he was a character in a scary movie.



why?

i don't know.




but this semester is seriously going to be scary.


me:

21 credits.
30 hours a week at work.
planning a wedding.
and being 1.5 hours away from the fiance.



call me crazy.

and i'll agree with you.


not sure how i'm going to last.





but wish us luck.

word of advice.

at this point in my life
i shouldn't be trusted with any food that produces mold, goes stale, or sour,
etc.
etc.
etc.

I'm in a rut.

I've kinda reached this point...

A point where I feel like I'm kind of failing at everything right now.

You see,
I'm having trouble:

1. managing my time.
- Um... I haven't gone grocery shopping since the 21st of August. (I know, WHAT?!)... (Did ever mention how much I HATE shopping and cooking for one person. I do... I really really do.)
- I'm finally taking my car in to get the oil changed today. I should have done it 1000 miles ago. (Oops!)

2. enjoying school.
- Nothing is making me super excited about my area of study this semester. I kind of blame the professors. I think a good teacher makes everything. But this still concerns me. 2 1/2 semesters shy of graduation and I'm thinking... Can I really do this?... Will I be any good?... Holy heck!!! The real world is just around the corner!... Am I doing the right thing?... Ugh!

3. remembering things.
- I swear I write things down and forget where I put them.
- I feel super flaky... and I hate flakiness... so naturally I'm super mad at myself.

4. pursuing photography.
- Life is so busy right now. And all I want to do is practice and shoot and read and edit photography. But I can't. I don't have the time or the funds right now. Speaking of funds...

5. managing being a dirt poor college student.
- But it could be worse.

6. blogging.
- My brain is being compacted with info on housing, debt, health care, research, and all those other things above and I feel my blog has been neglected.
- I miss the inspiration. So sorry for the short posts recently.

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for following and commenting and making me feel loved. I truly adore you. I'm going to plan and organize so I can breathe again and then I think I'll be okay. I don't think I'm going on a hiatus, but give me some time to get back my inspiration.

And if anyone would like to fund a vacation to Mexico for me and take over all my responsibilities, I might love you forever. Yep, I would. :)

There are so many things to do.
I should be:
-Eating healthier
-Exercising.
-A better friend.
-A better roommate.
-A better student.
-A better employee.
-A better daughter.
-A better photographer.

How do people do it???? I'm still figuring it out.

That's all.


Thanks again.

Loves.

woot woot!

I kind of have to brag for a second.

Is that okay?


good.



So I'm taking this class for my major...
and the teacher is known for being super hard.

Honestly, she kind of scares me a little.
I've heard the rumors from numerous people,
"Her tests are so intense!"

Well, today was the day.
My first test with her.
I spent last night studying.
And this morning studying.
And spent that time also freaking out because of all the rumors.

I really didn't know what to expect.
I kind of thought it would be like 100 multiple choice questions.
I walked in and got my test.

16 multiple choice.
and an essay.
huzzah!

I felt pretty darn good about it.

Then I got my test results emailed to me.

You ranked:    1 out of   27 who took this test




BOOOO-YAH, GRANDMA!!!!

That probably has never happened to me... ever!!!


I was soooo happy!


Okay,

I'm done bragging.



Thanks for listening.

reason #57 why i love college

a freaking foam dance!

isn't that sunset AH-MAZ-ING?!

can i tell you a secret?

i'm a senior (in college)... and i'm kind of sad this part of my life will be over soon.
i feel like it's just the beginning.

and another secret is...
i'm not ready for summer to be over

you know you're a poor college student when...

... your roommates clean out the fridge because they are moving out and you discover the only food that belongs to you includes:


-BBQ sauce
-mayo
-salsa
-pitas
-cream cheese
-sour cream
-turkey
-tortillas
-chicken nuggets
-pop scicles


i can't even make a decent meal out of that.
i didn't even have milk for crying out loud!


the real reason i don't have food is because

1. we have the smallest fridge ever.
2. i really hate grocery shopping for one person.


i seriously can't wait for the day i don't have to share a fridge
and label all of my stuff.


but i really do love college.



p.s. today, i went grocery shopping. :)