How can it be that a 22 year old man can fight with cancer for seven months, touch so many lives with his optimism, and then be gone only four days after I last talked to him?
How can it be that the nurses and doctors do everything they can, but the cancer still wins? How can it be that a family has to decide to pull the plug on their 12 year old little brother after he's slipped into a coma and is brain dead?
How can it be that he suffered with a heart condition since they day he was born?
How can it be that just last summer I was playing golf with that little boy and I never saw him without a smile on his face?
How can it be that mass murders are occurring in different parts of the world and no one knows what to do about it?
How can it be that people get so angry and bitter and have so much hatred in their hearts that they would do such awful things to other people?
How can it be that so many people are so absorbed with themselves they have no clue this happens every day?
How can it be that I'm one of those people?
Why am so worried about the decisions I have to make when there are people suffering in the world?

I wish I could do something.
I want to so bad. But I feel so small and insignificant. I wish I knew the answers.
I wish I knew why things happen to people. I wish I knew why some have to leave this earth life so soon. I wish we could all just die of old age in our sleep and no one would ever be murdered, or have cancer, or die in car accidents. I wish I could help, but I don't know how.
I don't know how to do anything but feel deep compassion for these people. I also know that this isn't the end. It's all part of a plan that a kind and loving Heavenly Father knows more about than we do. It's a plan of happiness and eternity. And that's the only way we get through life. That's the only way we can deal with such hard things. One day we'll know why things happen the way they do. I can't imagine life without having faith in that plan and actually believing it will happen. I would feel lost and confused, which is how most of the world feels, I think. I need to be a better person. I need to be a little more like Stephanie, Jaren, Paul, Karen, Shane, and Noah.

Life. Is. Hard.

They fought battles and endured them well. I want to be like them.

Life. Is. Fragile.

I am so blessed. So blessed beyond belief! There's no reason I shouldn't live everyday of my life with love, optimism, graciousness, and happiness. I can try and be the best person I can be and try and raise good children in hopes their goodness will start a chain reaction on the world.

I hope I never forget… never ever forget that I have it so dang good.

Jaren, you are one of the best people I've ever come to know. We will miss you.


kelli christine case said...

jalene! amazing and powerful thoughts. sometimes life can be overwhelming when we comprehend reality. you are awesome

Whitney said...

I love this. Like LOVE it. And I love you.

Beth said...

Wow Jalene. I came across your blog a while ago but I just really love this post. I've thought the same things too and like you want to help in any way I can, but sometimes that's not in God's plan. You just have a great way of putting it in words! And I read the post that answers these, also amazing. :)

camille said...


You are awesome! Thanks!