10.12.2009

I'm in a rut.

I've kinda reached this point...

A point where I feel like I'm kind of failing at everything right now.

You see,
I'm having trouble:

1. managing my time.
- Um... I haven't gone grocery shopping since the 21st of August. (I know, WHAT?!)... (Did ever mention how much I HATE shopping and cooking for one person. I do... I really really do.)
- I'm finally taking my car in to get the oil changed today. I should have done it 1000 miles ago. (Oops!)

2. enjoying school.
- Nothing is making me super excited about my area of study this semester. I kind of blame the professors. I think a good teacher makes everything. But this still concerns me. 2 1/2 semesters shy of graduation and I'm thinking... Can I really do this?... Will I be any good?... Holy heck!!! The real world is just around the corner!... Am I doing the right thing?... Ugh!

3. remembering things.
- I swear I write things down and forget where I put them.
- I feel super flaky... and I hate flakiness... so naturally I'm super mad at myself.

4. pursuing photography.
- Life is so busy right now. And all I want to do is practice and shoot and read and edit photography. But I can't. I don't have the time or the funds right now. Speaking of funds...

5. managing being a dirt poor college student.
- But it could be worse.

6. blogging.
- My brain is being compacted with info on housing, debt, health care, research, and all those other things above and I feel my blog has been neglected.
- I miss the inspiration. So sorry for the short posts recently.

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for following and commenting and making me feel loved. I truly adore you. I'm going to plan and organize so I can breathe again and then I think I'll be okay. I don't think I'm going on a hiatus, but give me some time to get back my inspiration.

And if anyone would like to fund a vacation to Mexico for me and take over all my responsibilities, I might love you forever. Yep, I would. :)

There are so many things to do.
I should be:
-Eating healthier
-Exercising.
-A better friend.
-A better roommate.
-A better student.
-A better employee.
-A better daughter.
-A better photographer.

How do people do it???? I'm still figuring it out.

That's all.


Thanks again.

Loves.

14 comments:

Chelsea said...

I'm struggling with many of the same things!

I usually try to make lists where I mix difficult tasks with easy ones; I usually feel more productive that way.

Good luck with everything!! Finding time for everything is always so hard!

Nicole Leigh said...

I hate shopping and eating for one too!! I always think, what's the point?
I'm struggling with a lot too. I'm lacking motivation and stressing about MONEY! it sucks.

Whitney said...

I feel this way a lot too! I'm sure we'll both figure it out in a matter of time. I like you a lot!!

jasmine said...

i really think the beginning of fall has done this to a lot of people...myself included. don't get too down on yourself though. that won't help anything. just try to stay positive and focus on being happy. when you're happy, you make other people happy. it works if you flip it too - when you make other people happy, you get happy. :)

hang in there, jalene. i'll be praying for you (and that someone will give you a trip to mexico...i'll take one too).

Fashionably Kate said...

Dear friend.

Don't be hard on yourself. I think we all feel this way at times. In my opinion,it's hard especially in our culture {mormon that is..}to not feel that constant demand of perfection.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't COOK or grocery shop ever.. {ok sometimes.}, and I often feel like the worst wife ever, but then I just accept that's life.

Hope you have a happy week! :)

7upkels said...

i feel the exact same way. it feels impossible to write anything with any inspiration when you're mind is busy allll the time. just wanted you to know i'm in the same boat with you :)

Krista & Tyler said...

just breathe.

it all passes.

a lot of it won't matter in 5 months.

we just pressure ourselves into thinking that it will.

let us know if you need a getaway...to salt lake. haha

xoxo

just breathe. no worries.

oh: play some bob marley - always makes me feel better :)

Mandy said...

I hate feeling like that...
No one ever said college would be so hard - everyone just said how fun it would be! I am sorry!

And if you go to Mexico, take me with you!

Chess said...

I feel like I'm failing at everything too. And also, I feel like everything is failing me. Like I don't expect much, but what I do hope for and feel I deserve is just falling apart on me too. I don't know how everyone else just seems to be put together and calm, because I'm just struggling 24/7. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Hope everything starts falling into place for you! :)

Jessica Leigh said...

I can relate . . . but for me throw in that I'm in the "real world" teaching, am supposed to be all grown-up, yet since I'm single I'm supposed to still have a functioning social life. Yeah. Right.

The Jalene I know will pull through just fine! Love you, girl! And, to throw in the cheesy motivation: shoot for the moon, then if you miss you'll land among the stars ;)

Lindsay Kay said...

One day at a time. One moment at a time. One prayer at a time. One breath at a time. You're doing great Jalene, no one ever said you have to be perfect! :)

siovhan said...

i feel this same exact way.
completely.
that's why interesting blogging is lacking in my corner of the interwebs.
here's hoping we both quickly find a way to manage it all!

Sheri said...

I also am struggling with many of those things. Life just gets so complicated in a short time doesn't it?

Jules Morrow said...

just found you. LOVE YOU. and can't wait to be an avid follower!
peace, love, and cheers!
Jules