life before us.


i often find myself thinking about my life before lincoln. and lincoln's life before me.
i was perusing through his pictures on fb last night, which i've done many times before, and thinking about how

right at that moment
when the picture was being taken
he had no idea i was in his future.

it's strange to think about how lincoln lived for 22 years and 9 months without knowing me.
that's a really long time, if you think about it.
by the world's standard, it's young, yes.
but there are so many experiences in that time frame that i was never apart of.
he existed for all that time. but from my perspective he didn't exist until july of last year. then our lives intertwined and our existence began together.
our story becoming one.

but before these pages began, we were living, eating, breathing, trying, schooling, laughing, crying, talking... and that's just weird to think about, you know?

two separate lives. two separate stories. and then one day...
and that's where all love stories begin, no?

one day, a boy and a girl meet...
and in that day neither of them really knew how their lives might intertwine.
but intertwine they did, it took a while, but they did. ahem... lincoln.

once they did, it didn't take me a long time to know i would end up marrying my lincoln.
maybe 3 to 4 weeks, although, we didn't voice our feelings for quite some time later.
because that just makes a person vulnerable. no one wants that.

so here's a boy, who has existed for a long time, and here's a girl, who has existed in the same city, same high school... for all the same years.
then your worlds collide and both of you decide that you want to spend the rest of forever with the other.
like, way longer than you have existed on this mortal earth.
and do really big things together.
like get married.
and buy a house.
and have babies.
and dogs.

and that is just a little mind boggling, isn't it?

this is where love and logic are defined. by me.

logic would say:
yes, that's a little mind boggling. two people. two lives. come together. and really big things.

my heart would say: my life is him. a piece of him has become a piece of me. and it would never make sense for us to part.

this is what made lincoln different--the one i chose.
i trusted that no matter what came our way, we would get through it together.
as a team. as one unit. as partners in crime. cheesy? i know, i'm sorry.

i guess what i'm trying to say is:

for the first time
it made sense in my heart.

and that made all the difference.

that's how i knew.

happy valentines day!

yay for love!


cole linnae said...

Dear Jalene-
you have no idea who i am..umm i dated your friend kevin bell for a minute. but. i found your blog and i am sort of obsessed with it. like..our whole apartment loves you and we dont even know you. creepy? yes.

i think you are amazing. and your heart is amazing. and your love with lincoln is amazing. that is all.

xoxoKrysten said...

That was put so well and was really sweet. Hope you two have a fantastic Valentine's Day!

CaLLie.ANN said...

This made me super melty.
I dig your kind of love.

manda said...

This is so cute! I love when you say you are partners in crime because it is so true. You will face everything from here on out together. Its so wonderful to think about isnt it :) Happy Valentines Day!

Kjarinda Lambert said...

Just thought I'd say.. I love your blog. and the way you write. It's very peaceful. so thank you.

communikate. said...

funny, i remember having those exact same thoughts when i was dating graham.

it'll get to the point that you won't remember life before him. everything becomes a blur. when talking about past memories, i constantly think he was there when he wasn't!

Chess said...

This is lovely and so sweet. I am glad you are so happy!

Annie said...

Hi Jalene! I found your blog through a friend's, and I must say... I am in love with it. And you. You keep things real and honest. I like that. It's refreshing! Just thought I would stop in and say hi. Thanks for your sweet/heartfelt posts!

Mandy said...

I always whine to Kevin that we didn't date since elementary, because I wish I could have been part of it all along. This captured my thoughts exactly.

lsgerber said...

you are such an eloquent writer. thanks for letting us read your thoughts :)

ellie said...

such amazing sweet sentiments on a day like today.

brittany barney said...

so true. and amazing. i love it. you will love looking back and seeing this. its fabulous. and so are you.

BeccaKaryn said...

Wow! I have to admit, I am TERRIBLE with words and with putting my emotions to something tangible. I have been trying and trying to figure out how to tell my boyfriend exactly how I feel about him, but nothing ever sounds right. But this blog post was right. You helped me find what I've been feeling. Crazy? Yes.

Also, you are beautiful and such an example to me. I found your blog through a friend's and have followed every since. Keep it up girl, you're wonderful!