I'm not even sure where to start with this post.
Because trying to explain the last two days is well... indescribable.
It's funny because nothing has really changed.
All of sudden, it all makes sense.
It's the strangest, but yet... most comfortable... feeling.
For the first time, I would say, in a year...
I'm not worried.
I'm not worried about the future... or anything!
I'm completely content.
And in the strangest way, I have no promises, prospects, or solid plans, and it all just feels
fine.
It's not in my hands anymore. I'm not in control.
And that feels absolutely---OK.
I feel like I can breathe and think and comprehend why the last 10 or so months happened the way they have.
I didn't learn anything I didn't already know this weekend...
For some reason, it all just makes sense now.
I feel like a weight has been lifted.
I feel good.
And I'm smiling.
Proximity is interesting.
I honestly believe there are some people who you totally connect with-- their spiritual being and yours.
You have moments when you know they totally "get" you.
You know it, and they know it.
And it's just... comfortable.
Good friends, family, lovers...
Proximity makes it all happen.
No matter what lies in the past between you, none of that really matters because you can feel that....
understanding.
For some reason, it all makes sense now.
And I don't think I was ready for it to make sense until now.
8 comments:
I like this, your amazing ;)
I'm happy that you're happy. "Delicious ambiguity" ...That is beautiful!
What a fantastic thought... I know everything happens for a reason.
I'm so glad you could put it so nicely though.
Amen.
That's all.
Isn't it funny how this happens!? I'm feeling so great about my future suddenly, as well, but I think it has more to do with some much-needed reassurance from my wonderful boyfriend that has helped me to feel as if everything is going to be alright. :)
isn't it awesome how things don't happen til you're ready for them? God loves us so much, and his timing is sooooo much better than our own. it's just really hard to let go of the control we think we have. it feels so good when we do though! just like you said - comfortable. it's like sitting in God's hand and just letting him have control - it feels so safe. thanks for this post, jalene. i need reminding of this almost every day. :)
I am so glad to hear that you are happy and that you are trusting in God to give you peace. Enjoy your week sweetie!
I'm glad you've found peace. Isn't it a wonderful feeling?
xoxo
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