12.15.2009

how we came about


once upon a time I lay in fetal position in a darkened quiet room--actually it wasn't quiet at all. i was crying. crying, sobbing, wailing, shaking... yes. all of it. i had reached the lowest of lows. the depths, i'm telling you. never before had i felt so completely broken. shattered. and alone.
and i honestly felt, in that moment, i would never recover. never feel whole again. i had been hurt. so. much. everyday was a struggle. it was hard. and exhausting. and all i wanted was to feel okay. i wanted nothing more in this world than for the hurt inside the pit of my chest to go away. if only i could find relief for one single second. i wanted to wake up in the morning without it hurting. but it always did.


time passed.

time is a good thing.

i can't say what really happened.
i prayed a lot.
i believed in myself.
and the future.
took one hard day at a time.
and tried to move on.

everyone told me that was what i was supposed to. and i kept doing it. one day at a time. even though i still didn't feel okay.


then one day. i finally felt healed. i felt better than okay. and i don't think it happened overnight. i just finally felt at peace. i wasn't worried about anything and finally felt completely content being me. remember?

july 12.

this happened to be the very first day lincoln and i met.
a friend of mine from high school had returned from a 2 year mission in Poland for our church.
lincoln also served in Poland with my friend.
and by the first day we met, i mean the first day lincoln met me.
you see, lincoln and i went to the same high school.
he was a year older than me and the quarterback. so naturally i knew who he was, and naturally he did not know me.
so let me rephrase...
ahem...it was july 12 and lincoln met me for the first time.
the healed me.
not much went through my head that day. maybe just a little of this,
'my, my, my he sure is handsome... and i think he might've been the quarterback. yep, can't really remember. and there is no chance in heck for me, but my, my, my, he looks dang good in that gray suit. and that smile... wow.'

we chatted a little at the homecoming. i attempted to speak Polish. we ate. i left.

and i went on with my life expecting nothing--so happy to finally feel better than okay.
and then our mutual friend called me one evening saying,
"hey! so you remember lincoln at my homecoming? he thinks you're pretty cute and wants your number. can i give it to him?"
i can't really remember how i reacted, but i think it consisted of a lot of giggling, blushing, and disbelief.

oh, and i said yes.

our first date would occur almost a month later on wednesday, august 19.
and it wasn't magically perfect or blissful in any way.
i remember dancing in my room before he came to black-eyed peas "gonna be a good night" to get myself pumped up and also calmed down so i wouldn't wet myself at the sight of him.
we got in the car and drove to get ice cream.
he was rambling on about something as we stopped at the light on the corner of 200 west and 5th south. i turned and stared at his face, his perfect smile, and the only thought i had was i knew i would be comfortable around him. at least for the night. and that was all that mattered.

it was all very strange how i felt.
but yet... incredibly comfortable.
it took me by surprise because i could feel he had depth to him, that he was humble, and so very kind.
completely refreshing.


after ice cream and a scary movie (during which, he grabbed my hand because he was scared)
he took me home.

on the drive he kept mentioning how "amazing" the stars were that night. i took the hint and invited him to star gaze in my backyard.
we didn't click instantly or have amazing conversations that first night.
but i felt comfortable while simultaneously feeling completely intimidated by him.

i'll never forget the moment he turned to me in random conversation and said,
"may i give you a kiss?"
i thought it was completely adorable and with a smile on my face i said, "mmm, yes."

{i also thought, "OH MY GOSH!!! I JUST KISSED LINCOLN TAYLOR!" hah.}





and this, my friends, is how we came about.


and obviously the story doesn't end here.





do you want to know something?

every single day
in some way i don't know
i fall more madly in love with him.

it never ends.
and it's completely exhilarating.

this is only the beginning.



**i know i probably sound completely sappy and ridiculous lately. but this is my blog. my journey. my life. my love story.
if it's too sappy for you, then don't read.

for now, this is what comes when i want to write. and i know i'll want to remember it.
so, this is why i'm writing this story.**





p.s. i've never been so completely happy in my life. i'm so excited to be mrs. taylor.

24 comments:

kylee said...

most adorable story ever! i'm so happy for you!

Michelle said...

No no! I love the sappiness of it! I can't wait to hear more about the adventures and stories you two share!
Seriously adorable.. makes me impatient to have something like you two have with someone!

lehi + sasha said...

jalene,

i just came across your adorable blog. you have such sweet spirit. my husband and i have been married for a whole year now. i still can't believe we have been married for over 365 days. {i still feel like i'm too young to be married for a year!} and let me tell you, it just gets better and better and better.

you just fall in love all over again and again AND AGAIN. this is true. married life is wonderful. it really is. and don't let people tell you that your first year will be the hardest. because i beg to differ.

it's true.

*donna* said...

this post is so deliciously lovely!

i am so happy that you are the happiest you've been - ever. i feel exactly the same way about m.r.

as far as writing these things on your blog, keep going - i adore stories of happiness and love. after all, these are the things we've been striving for, right? :0)

Adorably Distracted... said...

I loved your story :-)

It gave me chills because it sounds perfect.

my name is lauren. said...

i love your sappiness. you write it in such a beautiful way i want to keep reading more and more.

so excited for you that you're so in love. and trust me...you'll just keep falling deeper and deeper and it's a beautiful thing.

Whitney said...

so cute!

Shelby Lou said...

you know whats kinds of ridiculous. i just cried reading this. I don't know your whole story but, you have what I am waiting for. Except, that day I thought I was ok, it was a hoax, and I'm still hurting. I'm still not okay...but one day, I will have what you have, in my own way. This post made my day so much better. Oh you have no idea!

Mitch and Serretta Barlow said...

That was so freaking cute to read! I love reading/hearing love stories! The other people have already commented, but your writing is amazing! Your descriptions are so perfect and relatable-I'm not sure if that's a word. It's so funny, but meeting the one for you is exactly as people describe huh? You become whole-like apart of you that you didn't know was missing now makes you complete. Thanks for letting me stock you on here! I LOVE reading it!

Mandy said...

I love real life love stories. I remember reading your sad posts, these ones are so much better - not that I didn't like those, I'm just happy you're happy now.

When's the big day?

Chess said...

I know that broken feeling. I guess it's my first time getting to know that feeling, so it's terrible, awful, horrible! But to be reassured that it isn't permanent, and people being happy around me, well, that makes me happy! Thank you! You're lovely. :)

Beth said...

jalene, this is beautiful!! you give me hope:)

7upkels said...

I almost wanted to cry when I read this. I know exactly. EXACTLY. what it feels like... the whole 'comfortable and simultaneously being intimidated' thing. There is nothing more wonderful than being in love, and you my darling friend, have found it. I am so happy you are happy now. It's funny to see how Heavenly Father works and how at the end of the day, no matter how sad we've been, He still will lead us to happiness.

I wish you both the best as you continue on your journey together! You are both absolutely darling!

the southern hostess said...

So beautiful! Love your writing.

TeeTee said...

i loved this story... it was so sweet.
i am so happy for you!

Jessica Leigh said...

Kiss on the first date? How scandalous ;) Haha . . . you are adorable! And I think Mrs. Taylor fits you well ;)

Congrats, again! Loves!

.M@k3nZ!e. said...

loved this!
I just realized I was smiling the whole time I was reading this.

kate lines photography. said...

i am so happy for you, jalene.

i promise it only gets better.

Jo said...

I think your story is lovely!! And I enjoy reading about true love!! Keep it coming! ;)

Natalie said...

Finding the one you are going to spend the rest of forever with is definitely the most amazing experience. Enjoy every second of it! Being engaged is amazing.. and the falling in love everyday thing, that doesn't stop :)

Robby Spratt said...

That was a really nice story. You write very well, and I can really feel the emotion that you put into your posts. It makes me hopeful for the day some nice girl will feel that way about me. Thanks.

Catherine Newman said...

I love this story and your blog! Thank you for inspiring and giving hope to me and I'm sure many other readers.

Kellie said...

Jalene! I don't know how I stumbled across your blog. Call me a stalker, it's cool.
But I LOVE the way you write.

This blog post reminds me a lot of me. In fact, for just a minute it sounded like someone else was writing my story. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it was on July 12th that I met my soon-to-be husband. We're getting married 5 weeks from tomorrow and

I couldn't be happier.

But reading this post reminded me of the weeks I spent in my own depths, my own dispair, just a few months prior to meeting my fiance.

Anyway, this may not make much sense, but I am just thankful to find, once again, that I'm not alone and that we sisters are taken care of by Heavenly hands. Never ever left alone.

Keep writing, I want to keep reading.
Kellie Jo

Devin said...

I'm a total fan of that story jalene, it makes me happy :). also, that friend of yours that hooked you and lincoln up, he must be a freakin stud, i'm thinking you and lincoln should name your first born son after him...or at least make him his godfather...
love you! devin